Thursday, September 30, 2010

Managing a 4 year old

Well, its the age of the pre-schooler, its also an age of discovery for him as he gets to converse more with parents and exposed to other kids in the kindergarden. Its also definitely, an age when he experiments with defiance and testing the boundaries of discipline. Hence, parenting in my mind has moved to the next phase when the once baby boy hits 4 year old.Having said, I found this in the net which I thought was useful and hit right in the nail on how we dealt with Baby (Oops no longer baby!!) J

Here are 5 quick tips to help you improve deal with 4 year old behavior.

1) Always acknowledge what your child is saying. If you try to distract your child from whatever is on their mind without first acknowledging them, they will see right through you. But if you first repeat what they are saying, you'll "enter their world" and calm them down before any fights begin.

2) When your child is acting in a way that you do not like, make sure you tell him or her what you DO want, rather than telling them what you don't want. In other words, speak in positive terms. "I want you to come over here" is better than "stop going over there". Or "keep your hands to yourself" is better than "stop hitting your little sister". This goes for pretty much anything you communicate to your child.

3) Stay calm when you discipline your child. If you show your anger and frustration, your 4 year old will know he or she has pushed your hot buttons. You'll have more success with discipline if you keep your cool. You can be unemotional when implementing punishment.

4) Never apologize when implementing punishment. If you stay unemotional and act with calmness, you simply follow up on a threatened punishment with a simple explanation of what your child did (after being asked to behave differently) and you explain that the punishment is because of the behavior/action. No apologies necessary here.

5) Feel comfortable following through. If you make a threat such as, "If you don't get over here right now I'm not taking you to Grandma's tomorrow", then you better be prepared to actually follow through. Therefore, maybe you need to consider what is a realistic punishment and what is not. Keep a short list of realistic punishments on the tip of your tongue, and make sure at least one of these can be used when you are not at home. Get your children in the habit of understanding that you are someone who acts, not just talks.

Anyway, here are some memorable pictures to complement the new milestone in growing up and of course parenting:

May-Jun 10200
Celebrating Jeremy's 4 year old birthday at home. This time cake is baked at home.

May-Jun 10239
Trying to be photogenic. One of many new expressions in recent times

Jul 10017
Enjoying his birthday party in school with Buzz Lightyear cake and baby sis as company as well

Jul 10040
Another pose. Already know how to pose for camera.

AugSep 10133
Taken in a public beach along Telok Bahang Penang

2 comments:

etceteramommy said...

Noticed J did put on some weight , didn't he? :)

Pinky said...

Actually he has lost some weight on the contrary. :-)