Alicia's Birth Story

I have never blogged about Jeremy's birth story which if told in greater detail was vastly different from Alicia's birth - the only similarity being the fact that both were delivered in the same hospital by the same doctor and were born approximately the same time ( Jeremy was born at 10.55 am whereas Alicia was born at 11.10 am). Nevertheless as I regale you readers out there with what happened at Alicia's birth, I shall also punctuate my recent experience with snippets of what occured just before Jeremy came into this world three and half years ago.

Firstly, with Jeremy, I never did a birth plan not even a simple one of what I really wanted. I was practically clueless about babies except for buying the essentials and even then I didn't get enough clothes and other stuff. I didn't read up on breastfeeding thinking that it was a skill that would come naturally to a mother. I went for my pre-natal classes but couldn't remember a thing about the breathing exercises that the midwife taught us during the class. Essentially, I just let nature takes its course and prayed that he was normal and healthy upon delivery. As such, I was unhappy with certain aspects and things that took place pre, during and the post birth period.

Anyway, a month before Alicia's due date, I was already feeling very tired and nauseous due to the weight that I was carrying. Walking up and down the building during lunch time was becoming a chore but I told myself that I needed the exercise and a hearty lunch as well to keep the energy up. I had very severe heartburn during this period and took 2 days off in the middle of October to relax. By 29 October, I told myself that I need a couple of days break as my back was aching tremedously and as such had trouble concentrating on work. On 30 October, when I went to the gynae for my weekly check up, I was told that delivery will not be imminent as my cervix was still shut tight. So I happily went home to relax with Jeremy. By Halloween morning, I felt some light contractions which I thought were merely Braxton Hicks contractions. We went to La Bodega for breakfast and then in the early afternoon attended Jeremy's playschool. The contractions were becoming painful but were still very far apart i.e one contraction per hour or 1.5 hours. It started getting even more painful during dinner time but they were still far apart. By midnight as I lay in bed not getting any sleep due to the contractions, I started to time them more properly. To us, we thought it was Braxton Hicks as the doctor assured us that the birth is not imminent and there were no bloody show or any other indications that she was ready to enter the world. At approximately 4am, the contractions begun to get closer ie 10 minutes apart and they were so painful that it begun to radiate beyond the lower back. I told Brain that we needed to go NOW - PRONTO as I can't even stand up properly due to the excruciating pain. We bundled Jeremy into the car and headed to my parents place to drop him off before cruising down the empty Federal Highway towards Sunway Medical Centre. I was wheeled to the delivery suite where the midwife checked my dilation and pronounced that I was already 7 cm dilated!!! With Jeremy, it was barely 1.5 cm when I checked myself into the hospital and had the epidural drip fixed up. Here I was 7 cm dilated and begging the midwife for an epidural - she said it may not work since I'm practically going to give birth soon. Nevertheless, the anesthetist on call was on the way to the hospital at the ungodly hour of 4am on a Sunday and my doctor was also called immediately. As I waited for the anesthetist, I was already beside myself due to the extreme pain. The midwife gave me some gas and taught me some breathing exercises which helped me to forget the pain momentarily. By the time the anesthetist got in, I was asking him questions about whether it was possible to have a spinal block if the epidural fail to work. He didn't recommend it and assured me that the epidural would still work even when I'm 8cm dilated. It did work but for some strange reasons I could still feel the painful contractions on one side . The midwife told me that it is possible that the effects of the epidural didn't not reach that side of my uterus. Great! So I was still in pain albeit on one side!! So I started doing the breathing exercises to forget the pain. With Jeremy, I did not even feel the contractions from beginning to the end - what a difference! When the time came to push, it just came naturally cos I could still feel the contractions despite the epidural. It took me fives pushes and the doctor's assistance with the vaccum before Alicia came out with the blood splattered and all that grossed out stuff. I must say that it was quite an experience - why? Because with Jeremy, I had a C-section due to fetal distress i.e his heart rate was dropping and as such, they had get me into the operating theatre (Brain wasn't even allowed to be with me! ), cut me up and get him out as quick as possible.

As part of my birth plan for Alicia, I have asked the doctor whether a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section) was possible as with C-section, the recovery was slow and I could barely hold Jeremy when I stood up due to the pain of the incision. Plus, due to the pain, nursing was difficult and I gave up easily. Hence Jeremy was given formula from the start. The doctor was supportive and said that given her weight, VBAC was definitely possible but a vaccum delivery is required in order to reduce the stress of the delivery on the previous C-section incision even though the wound has healed. So that became the first part of my birth plan for Alicia : TO HAVE A NATURAL BIRTH. Thankfully, it went well and with the support of the midwives in the delivery room who were very very patient and encouraging, it was made possible although I did have a slight tear and the doctor had to stitch me up!

Alicia was brought to me 2 hours later for me to nurse and latched on to me asap. So that was the second part of my birth plan for Alicia: TO EXCLUSIVELY BREASTFEED ALICIA FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. As mentioned earlier, with Jeremy, due to my C-section, he was fed formula right from the start and as such, was a colicky baby for 3 months - we barely slept and was just exhausted carrying him around to pacify him which of course didn't work most of the time. With Alicia, having read up extensively on breastfeeding and asking questions from every mother I knew who breastfed their kids, I was definitely more prepared this time although I did anxiously wonder whether my milk supply was sufficient for her. Plus, I engaged a lactation consultant to help me if I encountered any problems with breastfeeding. Alicia took to the breast like it was the most natural thing to do and so far, touch wood - she hasn't been colicky and sleeps a lot like most newborns do. She fusses now and then but it is generally due to either she is overtired or has gas trapped in her lower abdomen. The only thing I haven't done is to start stockpiling on EBM so that I can return to work in peace in February!!! Yes, that was another part of my birth plan: TO EXTEND MY MATERNITY LEAVE BY ANOTHER MONTH AND APPLY FOR FLEXI WORKING HOURS so that I can spend more time with the kids. With Alicia, I was discharged from the hospital within 24 hours of her birth whilst with Jeremy I had to stay an extra night due to the C-section wound. Overall, I m beginning to see or notice many differences between caring for Alicia and Jeremy. Maybe I'm trying to undo or correct the mistakes that I have made previously or maybe I'm just more experienced this time around and hence have a better understanding of the baby's cues. In any case, both of them taught me a lot about being a mother caring for a helpless infant and I will cherish these experiences forever.

2 weeks to due date

Everyone is getting excited again, as we approach the delivery due date. It has been on a regular basis, where Jeremy will ask 'Why is Baby not out yet'?

A routine medical checkup reveals that delivery is unlikely to be in the coming week, which is good I feel. Somehow, we prefer the delivery to be wee bit closer to actual due date.

So anyway, keeping our finger crossed !

Stork News

For hundreds of years, the white stork in western culture has been used to symbolize the arrival of a baby and this has also used as an explanation for children anticipating the arrival of a new sibling. I remembered once in announcing the birth of a much anticipated child of a colleague of mine, I mistakenly sent a news flash via e-mail to all my colleagues & bosses with a mispelling in the header : "StoCk News". It was embarrasing and hilarious at the same time to see my bosses summoning me on this as they thought it was some tax planning brief that I had recently put together.

In any case, there appear to many storks which have arrived/destined to arrive this year or early next year. I was told by some people that many are trying to avoid having babies in the Year of the Tiger due to some supertitious beliefs. I read some where that based on population studies conducted in Singapore and China this has always been the trend even in the past. I'm not sure whether this is true but really, regardless of whatever you may think of, babies should be always seen as blessings and not burdens, sent to fill our lives and hearts with joy!

On this note, I would like to congratulate the following friends and fellow bloggers on their latest or anticipated new arrivals in the Year of the Ox. As for yours truly, our stork will be heading our doorsteps in November 09!

Sree - Baby Pratik(January 2009)

Mr and Mrs Belacan - Baby Shushanna (February 2009)

Khairatul - Baby Iman (March 2009)

Norizan - Baby Nur iLyssa (March 2009)

Mr and Mrs Tan - Twins Lara and William ( May 2009)
Mr and Mrs Ong - Baby Katelyn (June 2009)

Mr and Mrs Lee - Baby Lee ( June 2009)

Harimau - Baby Lara (June 2009)

TT - Baby Xenia ( June 2009)

Angel - Baby Alexa (July 2009)

Kittycat - (December 2009)

Shannon - (December 2009)

Mummy Yvonne - (Early 2010)
Jessy - (Early 2010)

My Favourite Baby Stuff (1)

In preparation for our latest arrival, I've been stocking up on several useful and handy items which I have found to be a must-have after having tried them on Jeremy ( the human guinea pig). I thought I would share these with mummies out there who could be on the hunt for the perfect cream, lotion or what-nots for their precious bundle of joys...

Esemtan Wash Lotion

When Jeremy was an infant, it was recommended that I use Sebamed baby shampoo and baby cleasing liquid to keep his skin soft and healthy. I was using those products till he turned 3 months old and developed horrible looking rashes around his neck which would not go away. I was then recommended by his paed to use Eucerin Sensitive Skin Wash lotion which did little to improve his condition. He then recommended that I try out Esemtan Wash lotion which I later found out (from its main distributor) , that it was only available in one major hospital in the whole KL (and possibly Malaysia) and retails for RM50 for 180ml - yeah real expensive. Within a week, his rashes disappeared and his baby skin was soft and smooth again. What's great about this wash lotion is that it is very mild, soapless, pleasant smelling and most importantly - there will be no tears, it's non-irritating and safe for babies and even adults! You don't need to use much of it - just a drop or two is required to wash the baby's hair and body and you don't need to rinse his/her hair or body frequently given that it is soapless.. It takes me only a couple of minutes to rinse his hair and body and a bottle can last me around 5 months! Since this product is not available off the shelf at pharmacy outlets in Malaysia, I usually get my supply from Singapore when I'm down there each year. You can find them virtually in every Guardian pharmacy in Singapore and only retails at SGD11 (approximately RM26.95) which is so much cheaper compared to Malaysia. I usually raid the pharmacy shelfs and buy around 5 to 6 bottles to "smuggle" back to Malaysia.

Prolin All-Over Lotion (With Mozshield Complex)

The rise of dengue and Chikungunya rates in Malaysia is becoming rather alarming lately. With radio and TV ads about a mother talking about how she would destroy life to protect her children, you could see and feel how serious the issue has become. In the past, I used mosquito repellant patches to protect him from these potentially deadly creatures but he would tear them off as soon as he sees them. Apart from that he doesn't ( and neither do I) seem to like to lemon balm plant smell (which wards away the mosquitoes) that comes with the patch. The smell and oil extract is common in many insect repellant creams. I was then introduced to the Prolin lotion. It's easy to apply, non-sticky, alchohol free and safe for children. I usually apply this on Jeremy when he is asleep or outdoors to shield his skin from mosquito bites. It worked rather well when we took him to Tanjung Jara Resort this year since the place was located practically near a jungle. Jeremy likes it becos it does not contain the lemon balm plant smell. A 100ml bottle currently retails for RM11 a bottle at Cosway outlets but I understand that it is also made available online on certain web shops.

Power Max Kiddie Wash

I was using Nappikleen Liquid Anti-Bacteria Wash for Jeremy's clothes since the first month of his delivery but found the strong smelling detergent just too harsh on his delicate clothes. I decided to change to Power Max Kiddie Wash (another product from Cosway) an extra gentle wash for children's clothes, which not only remove stains but makes the clothes smells good, clean and fresh whenever he wears them. It retails for approximately RM20 for a 1 liter bottle at Cosway outlets.

Preparing Jeremy for the new arrival ......

Explaining to a three year old that mummy is having a baby even in the simplest terms is no easy task. However, he is beginning to sense changes taking place due to the arrival of the newest member in the family. For example, he asked why mummy can't carry him anymore and how he has to now rely more on daddy for that. Why I need to buy new baby pillows and etc... I have even asked him to share his toys with the baby but he refuses and promptly ask me to keep them when the topic of sharing toys with his sibling came up. To help Jeremy ease into his role as a big brother and accept a younger sibling for company and support, I have sought out several books for myself and him to read. I thought I could also share this with the many mommies who are also eagerly anticipating their 2nd or 3rd bambinos in the Year of the Ox.

The Everything Parent's Guide To Raising Siblings: Tips to Eliminate Rivalry, Avoid Favoritism, And Keep the Peace

I found this book by chance in MPH while I was browsing through some books on baby names. I must confess that I haven't finished reading the book but I admit that it is full of helpful tips on how to build a strong lasting sibling relationship whereby they can turn to each other for help or support in times of need. As you know what they say ... blood is always thicker than water. Also, it gave some helpful hints for parents on how to manage and balance the delicate relationship with the arrival of a younger sibling who could be seen to be competing directly with the older child for the parents' affections and attention. The last thing we need is to provoke jealousy and sibling rivalry in Jeremy. No doubt the younger sibling will demand quite fair bit of attention from the adults given the physical needs of an infant and toddler in the initial years and who could not even do 90% of what his/her older and more independent brother can do. However, based on the recommendations provided in the book, Brain and I will need to consciously involve him as well in the process of caring for the younger sibling. For eg, he will also now carry on the role of mommy's little helper like fetching the diapers and etc for the baby as well as playing and interacting with the baby. This is not only to make him feel important but rather we hope that such actions will help him to bond with the newcomer. Additionally, other adults who come to see, visit, care or play with the baby such as grandparents and aunts/uncles would also need to do their part in ensuring that Jeremy doesn't feel left out. They would need to consciously greet and interact with him first before tending to the younger child. In a way, we are helping or demonstrating to Jeremy that we are not playing favourites and that he is treated equally to his younger sibling. This is not an easy task especially when we parents will always have to keep working on this even until they reach adulthood. Sure, there will be bickering, shouting, door slamming, accusations thrown at each other, tantrums, tears and etc as they grow older. But at the end of the day, we hope that despite all these, the two siblings will learn to love, respect and support each other as no man is an island.

What to Expect When Mummy's Having A Baby by Heidi Murkoff

I found this book at Kinokuniya, KLCC when we were both browsing for books in the children's section. The illustrations and explanations were simple enough for Jeremy to understand .... or so I thought. The entire book is narrated by Angus the dog and I felt it was a bit too descriptive as it essentially explained the entire process including the part of about the birds and bees. Fancy trying to explain what an ovum is to a three year old or even a seven year old for that matter!.... I felt that part was unnecessary so I would usually skip that particular page when I read it to Jeremy. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to be very much interested in the book or the pictures and found my reading terribly boring... Till today, he doens't really seek out that particular book for me to read. He is happy for me to read to him, books by Roger Hargreaves or even Richard Scarry but not this one. So it is back to Mr Greedy, Mr Tall, Mr Bounce and the whole Mr Men Gang for now.

Well he does know one little fact now though - that mommy's ballooning tummy is due to the fact that there is a baby inside there now...